


I'm tired but I gotta fight

by foreverfelicityqueen (stydiasredstring)



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Gen, but there's hope in the end, it's just kinda sad, speculation fic, spoilers for 7x21
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 12:33:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18699691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stydiasredstring/pseuds/foreverfelicityqueen
Summary: Oliver Queen was tired. He had been fighting for so long. Over a decade, just to survive. Maybe it's time to rest?Spoilers for 7x21. If you have not seen the stills for this episode DO NOT read this fic. Unless you don't care, then do you.





	I'm tired but I gotta fight

**Author's Note:**

> I have feelings. And when I have feelings you get oneshots. You're so lucky that way. this is not edited because I honestly didn't want to feel emo while editing. So apologies for that.

Oliver didn’t know what had happened. As he pulled himself off the floor he tried to recall the last few hours, but everything clouded gray around his thoughts. The team. He remembered they had come here together. They were following someone. But who? More importantly where did everyone go? 

The fog cleared as he took in the debris. Walls were down, concrete spilled into the air like it had a life of its own. And through it all, someone emerged. 

“Tommy?” 

But that didn’t make sense. He couldn’t pinpoint why, but the sight of his best friend sent a chill through him. He needed to find the others? Or whoever they were here for? Why couldn;t he remember.

“It’s okay, Ollie. You can rest now.”

He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. Maybe he had hit his head on something, that would account for the memory loss and confusion right? He didn’t feel like he had a headache though. He just felt… lost.

“Tommy I have to find--”

“Not anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” he turned to face his friend, saw the grief and pain etched into Tommy’s face. He tried so hard to remember the last time he had seen his friend’s face. But the memories were attached to uncertainty. 

_ Tommy? _

No. He pressed his palms against his eyes, pushing the thoughts away.

“What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here.”

“Neither should you,” he said, taking a step closer. “But in the end buddy, we all end up here.”

_ It should have been me. _

More flashes. A room like this, concrete and debris everywhere. The tang of blood and dust in the air.

“We have to,” Oliver felt himself sway as he tried to move. But it didn’t matter. He had to get them out of there. “We have to find the others. We have to go.”

“There’s no way out of here, Ollie. I’m sorry.”

“There always another way. Okay we’ll find it.”

_ Open your eyes, Tommy. _

“Open your eyes,” he whispered, meeting his friend’s gaze for the first time. Tommy, his best friend. His brother. Tommy who loved Laurel. Tommy who tried to be everything his father wasn’t. Tommy who died seven years ago.

“I think you finally got it,” he replied, taking a step around him. “I’m so sorry, Ollie.”

“No,” he shook his head. “No I can’t, this isn’t real. I have to go. I have to find…” he still couldn’t focus on the who. But he couldn’t not find them “There are people trapped down here. People who are counting on me. I have to help them.”

“Not anymore you don’t,” Tommy let out a shaky breath. “Ollie you can let go. You can find your peace. See everyone you lost. See your mom. You can finally rest.”

The temptations reached at him, pulling at his skin like a warm light. But he pushed forward and moved around the room. “I can’t.”

Tommy scoffed. And despite the situation, Oliver couldn’t help but reveal in it. 

“Why not?” Tommy shrugged. “This place, this world? It doesn’t give a damn how much energy you keep putting into saving it. All they ever do is turn on you. You could save their skin a thousand times over, and it will never be enough for them. But we remember what you’ve done.”

“We?”

He nodded. “All those you’ve lost. Everyone you fought so hard to protect. Yao Fei, Shado, Akio, Maseo, your parents, Laurel, even Quentin. They sent me. They thought, maybe I could convince you to lay down your bow. Your fight is over Oliver.”

He didn’t believe it. Things felt so unfinished. There was still more to do, more people to save, more he wanted to see. He couldn’t just leave.

“It’s not,” he said, and his voice felt rough and hollow. “There’s still… I’m not done. I’m not. There’s more to come.”

“Maybe,” Tommy said moving in front of him. “Maybe there is more bad to come. More battles on the horizon. But that doesn’t mean you have to be the one to fight them all. Isn’t that why you have a team, Ollie? To pick up the mantle when you can’t do it anymore. You don’t have to continue. You can let go.”

“I can’t.” 

He could picture them, but not fully. Not faces or features. But he knew they were there, they were waiting for him to come back. 

_ I promise I will always come back. _

How many times had he said those words? How many times had he told his family that? He didn’t want to break his word, it felt too much like breaking their hearts.

“Tommy,” he pleaded with his friend. “I want more than anything to see you all again, to know you’re all okay. But I can’t leave  _ them  _ behind.”

When he said it faces appeared in his mind. John and Roy. Dinah and Rene. Thea and William. Felicity. Always, always Felicity. His light. The one person who made him believe he could be more than a vigilante hiding in the shadows. He couldn’t leave any of them. But he could never, never, leave her. Not again. Not with a baby on the way.

“I have a family,” he said, even though he suspected Tommy already knew. “A son, a wife, a baby on the way. Tommy I can’t leave them. They’re the ones who need me. The city, everyone in it, they’re important too. But I could give up saving them, if it meant getting to be with my family.”

That’s when he noticed they had been walking, at first it had felt aimless. But when Tommy stopped by a fallen wall, he knew where they were.

“I told them that,” he said clearing his throat. “Everytime you come this close to death we have this talk. And every single time you pick them. It’s what makes you a hero Ollie. Not the bow or the suit. Not the thoughts of that city. But the fact that you carry on, even when you have every right to give up, that is your legacy.”

He saw his body then. Saw Roy and John, trying to lift the concrete off of him, as Rene and Dinah pushed rubble out of the way. “You didn’t want me to agree to come?” 

“Of course I wanted you too,” Tommy said, sadness filling his features. “But you’re right. You have more to live for than to die for. I just need you to know on the day you finally come to rest, that I will be here waiting.”

“Tommy.”

“You will always be my brother, Ollie. Not even death could stop that.”

“I miss you every day.” He wished things could be different, he wished he could bring Tommy back. But even with Roy’s resurrection fresh in his mind, he would never be able to do that to Tommy.

As if his friend could feel his thoughts, Tommy shook his head. “I’m at peace, Ollie. I have my mom and Laurel. I even have the father Malcolm used to be. Don’t worry about me. You go back and protect them.”

“This threat, it’s bigger than all the others.”

“They are, but it doesn’t matter,” he placed a hand on Oliver’s shoulder and a jolt of pain went through him. “I told you this once. I don’t know if you remember, because you had been hallucinating the whole time. But, fight Oliver. Get up, and fight back.”

He pushed him, and Oliver fell backwards, pain radiating through his entire body. But he felt it all. He felt so alive. 

“Oliver!” his comm crackled in his ear. But even through the static he’d know that voice anywhere.

“Felicity,” he groaned, and that one word had the whole team focused on him again.

“Felicity he’s waking up,” John said as he hovered closer to him. “Oliver, can you hear me?”

“Is everyone okay?” he asked. At some point they must have moved the concrete slab off of him, but even as he tried to sit up, it felt like fire coursing through him.

“Are we okay?! You’re the one who had a damn wall fall on you, hoss.”

“Not helping Rene,” Dinah hissed as she kneeled. “Superficial wounds. Emiko and the Ninth Circle got away though.”

“We’ll get them next time,” he said and grabbed onto John’s arm. “Felicity, talk to me? Are you alright?”

“I’m gonna punch you so hard for scaring me like this,” she whispered, but he heard the smile under the tears. “I’m fine. The police served a warrant though. They’re gonna be looking for all of you. Especially Roy.”

“Guys I’m--”

“Stop,” he said when he got to his feet. He was so tired, his body felt weak and broken. But it didn’t matter, he had things to do. “We’ll get through this.”

“Oliver, how?” John asked looking at him as they nearly huddled together. 

“We fight back,” he said swallowing down Tommy’s words. 

It’s all they could do. Fight until there was nothing left to fight. Because their children deserved that kind of future. The one where they knew their parents did everything they could to make the world a better place. Even if they failed, even if the city turned on them., they couldn’t give up.

 


End file.
